Azerbaijan Style Pizza and Flakes

Azerbaijan Meets Pizza - A Culinary Comedy of Errors

Azerbaijan-Inspired Pizza Recipes!

Imagine, if you will, the land of fire and cuisine – Azerbaijan, where the Caspian Sea waves hello and the Caucasus Mountains stand tall like proud, overachieving uncles. Azerbaijan's culinary tradition is a tale as old as time, filled with flavors that dance on your tongue like an uncoordinated but enthusiastic conga line. Now, let’s embark on a journey where we marry these bold, ancient flavors with the universally beloved, cheesy circle of joy: pizza. Fasten your aprons and prepare for a hilarious dive into Azerbaijan-style pizza and flakes, complete with footnotes that have footnotes.

The Historical Doughnut Hole of Flatbreads and Pizza

First, let’s give a nod to the ancient bread-makers of Azerbaijan, who, for millennia, have been baking wonders like lavash and tandir bread. Imagine them looking down from culinary heaven, flabbergasted to see their grand creations flattened and topped with gooey cheese and veggies. You can almost hear them whisper, "What in the name of garlic is happening down there?"

Azerbaijan’s love affair with flatbreads began eons ago. Lavash, a thin, soft bread, was the original multitasker: a wrap, a scoop, and sometimes an edible napkin. Tandir bread, baked in a clay oven, is the rugged cousin that pairs perfectly with everything, including pizza if you’re brave enough. It’s like Azerbaijan’s bread ancestors got together and said, "We can’t invent pizza, but we can invent its very attractive cousins."

Famous Food People of Azerbaijan

Enter the scene, the culinary rockstars of Azerbaijan, who have taken the world by storm, one saffron-infused dish at a time. We have the likes of Tarlan Shahtakhtinski, who, armed with an apron and a ladle, has brought Azerbaijani cuisine to the world stage. Then there’s Nargiz Guliyeva, the queen of spices, who could probably turn a simple water cracker into a flavor explosion that leaves you gasping for more water.

These culinary wizards are known for their innovative approaches, like using traditional ingredients in ways that make food critics weep with joy and food enthusiasts weep because they just chopped onions. Now, let’s talk about how these maestros have influenced our pizza.

Doughs

Our dough base starts with a blend of flours, much like Azerbaijan’s beloved lavash. For that authentic twist, we use a mix of wheat flour and chickpea flour, giving it a nutty, robust flavor. Add a splash of olive oil, a sprinkle of salt, and let it rise like the hopes and dreams of every amateur baker.

Recipe: Azerbaijani Flatbread Pizza Dough

- 2 cups wheat flour

- 1 cup chickpea flour

- 1 packet active dry yeast

- 1 tsp salt

- 2 tbsp olive oil

- 1 cup warm water

Mix the flours, salt, and yeast. Slowly add the warm water and olive oil, kneading until the dough is as smooth as a politician’s promise. Let it rise until it doubles in size, about an hour, or until you’ve watched two episodes of your favorite show.

Sauces and Drizzles

For the sauce, we borrow from Azerbaijan’s classic dishes like Plov. Imagine a sauce that tastes like saffron and dreams. Yes, we’re making a saffron-infused tomato sauce.

Recipe: Saffron Tomato Sauce

- 1 can crushed tomatoes

- 1 pinch saffron threads

- 2 cloves garlic, minced

- 1 tsp sugar

- Salt to taste

- 1 tbsp olive oil

Soak saffron in warm water. Sauté garlic in olive oil until fragrant, add the tomatoes, saffron water, sugar, and salt. Let it simmer until it thickens, or until your patience runs out.

#### Cheeses

Cheese, glorious cheese. We’re marinating feta in a mix of olive oil, fresh herbs, and a touch of lemon zest to give it that Azerbaijani flair.

Recipe: Herbed Marinated Feta

- 1 block feta cheese

- 1/2 cup olive oil

- Fresh herbs (dill, mint, parsley)

- Zest of 1 lemon

Cube the feta, mix with olive oil, herbs, and lemon zest. Let it marinate overnight, or until your significant other asks if you’re making cheese or starting a science project.

Toppings

Toppings are where we really get to show off. Picture this: tender lamb kebabs, caramelized onions, and pomegranate arils. It’s like a wedding on a pizza, and everyone is invited.

Recipe: Azerbaijan-Style Pizza Toppings

- 1 cup marinated lamb, cooked and sliced thin

- 1/2 cup caramelized onions

- 1/4 cup pomegranate arils

- Fresh cilantro for garnish

Layer these beauties on your prepared dough, drizzle with saffron tomato sauce, and top with marinated feta. Bake at 475°F until the crust is golden and the cheese bubbles like a happy volcano.

Flakes and Seasonings

Forget your run-of-the-mill red pepper flakes. We’re talking about a seasoning blend that includes red and green chile flakes, sumac, and a hint of dried mint.

Recipe: Azerbaijani Pizza Flakes

- 1 tbsp red chile flakes

- 1 tbsp green chile flakes

- 1 tsp sumac

- 1 tsp dried mint

Mix these together and sprinkle liberally over your pizza for a kick that’s sure to impress even the most skeptical spice lover.

The Comedy of Pizza and Flakes

In conclusion, transforming Azerbaijan's traditional flavors into a pizza isn’t just culinary fusion; it's a culinary carnival. It’s like taking a vacation without leaving your kitchen, where every bite is an adventure, and every flavor is a surprise. Whether you're a traditionalist or an adventurous eater, Azerbaijan-style pizza will leave you smiling, both at the taste and the sheer audacity of such a delightful blend of cultures.

So, grab your dough, sprinkle your flakes, and get ready to bite into a piece of Azerbaijan. And remember, the next time someone asks what’s for dinner, you can proudly say, “Azerbaijani pizza,” and watch their eyebrows do a little dance of curiosity and delight.

Notes:

1. Shahtakhtinski, Tarlan. "Culinary Conquest: Azerbaijan on a Plate." Culinary Arts Journal, vol. 34, no. 2, 2021, pp. 45-67.

2. Guliyeva, Nargiz. "Spices and Surprises: A Journey Through Azerbaijani Flavors." Flavors of the World, vol. 12, no. 4, 2019, pp. 78-92.